blowthecandlesoutt:

The signs as things I associate them with

Aries: big excited dogs, turning the car radio all the way up, laughing so hard your stomach hurts, frustration and screaming into your pillow, loud football games, music with heavy drums, sneakers at school dances.

Taurus: thick books, old books, political discussions and arguments, deep talks at 4am, jealousy, stubbornness about literally anything, road trips, hot tea, comfort, lots of blankets and pillows, warmth.

Gemini: bright and loud concerts, talking shit, loyalty, constant new ideas, family, insecurity, tattoos, drunken laughing, drunken crying, loneliness, art, messy book bags, protectiveness.

Cancer: sunshine, genuine smiles, distrust, crying with someone, sunflowers, the beach, bright colors, happy friends, funny movies, mood swings, hopefulness about the future, positivity for others, negativity for self.

Leo: laughing at your own jokes, puns, cats, easy going conversation, procrastination, an air of superiority, unsureness about the future, unsureness about people, bo burnham, stupid inside jokes, theatre, good fashion.

Virgo: libraries, color-coordinated notes, anxiety, ‘mom’ friends, intelligence, feelings of inadequency, judgement, rainy days, coffee, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’, random acts of kindness, crying over small mistakes, organization.

Libra: tropical places, hammocking, tight hugs, self-centered natures, Ariana Grande music, ‘why me’ attitudes, lots of candles, well tended-to plants, protest signs, deer, cleanliness, kindness, individuality, cool makeup.

Scorpio: hair dye, conspiracy theories, slam poetry, secrets, gossip, black eyeliner, off-color jokes, Halloween movies, artsy coffee shops, unpredictable people, loud headphones, painful memories, Alice In Wonderland.

Sagittarius: snorting laughter, knitted beanies, hiking, fall weather, offensive statements, followers, blue skies, memes, freckles, broken promises, nonreassuring conversations, living in the moment, eighties movies.

Capricorn: old music, polaroids, hard work with good payoff, long-held grudges, strong opinions, singing, condescending words, quotes, fairy lights, unique fashion, big sweaters, pessimism, supportive friends.

Aquarius: intelligent conversation, honesty, original and thought-out ideas, small-venue concerts, long car rides, natural make up, good listeners, judgmental, random rudeness, multiple rings, bottled up emotions, dogs.

Pisces: art, easy-going situations, familiarity, ranting with someone, sensitivity, victimization, funny friends, caring, random wise sayings, strong trust, memories, the smell of fresh cut wood, craftiness.

It’s so hard not talking to one of your best friends.

It’s probably better for us to move on I guess.

It just kinda sucks.

I miss him.

So Quinton is going to rehab tomorrow.

I don’t know if he’ll be able to talk while he’s there but I really hope this helps him.

I’m sure it’s going to be hard and scary but it’ll be worth it.

As for me, I’m going to work on me.

Work on being my own person and on my anxiety and depression.

It’s going to be hard since I haven’t really been single since I started dating my first boyfriend at the end of 8th grade.

The longest was probably about 4 months or so.

So I haven’t made a post on here in like 2 years.

But right now I just need to use this as a journal.

I broke up with Quinton Friday night.

It was just supposed to be a break so he could get his life under control. Like stop drinking and maybe see a therapist.

Then today I told him I was not good at this. Even though we barely talked before this happened, being not together, made things feel worse, obviously.

Today he told me he cheated on me two years ago when we started dating.

It was with some girl he worked with that I knew I had a reason to hate, not just because she flirted with him and whatnot.

Now I don’t know what to feel.

I tried to help him so much.

I lived with him.

Now he’s saying things like he doesn’t want to be alive.

I honestly couldn’t believe he would say something like that to me.

I’m so conflicted about how I feel.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

I just want to sleep.

Guess who gets to move back home in a few months? ☹️☹️☹️

Living literally paycheck to paycheck is so stressful. It makes me feel pathetic. Quinton recently suggested moving back in with our respective parents to help us with our financial situation. I don’t like the idea at all. His parents live an hour away from where we live now and where my family lives and me not being able to drive would make that even worse. As I told him we made this big move by moving in together and I don’t want to take a step back. We’re just going through so much right now struggling with this and we both just need something to go right for us. The only thing I would be happy about moving back home would be being with my cats again. I miss them so much.

drowning4youu:

things to be happy about:
- finding a new favorite song
- taking a hot bath when you’re really cold
- finishing a good book
- having sex with someone you really love
- falling asleep at the beach
- sunscreen on a babies nose
- getting into a freshly made bed
- coming home after a long vacation
- watching the people you love most laugh
- painting your nails
- hot cups of tea when it’s raining
- coming home after a long day
- waking up and stretching